Friends Forever?

Having friends is a natural human instinct. Bonding and communicating is something we learn very early on in life and is something we keep with us forever.
As girls, having friends is as important as family members! And we use our girlfriends for all sorts of things; from gossiping about boys, to confiding in her about dark secrets, to 4 hour shopping sprees on one high street!

Let’s face it; as girls, we need our girlfriends! But have we ever stopped to think about whether our friends have our best interest at hearts? As young women, we have so many issues that we are faced with daily and it feels comforting to know that we have people to share it with. But as CHRISTIAN young women, we need to make sure those friends are the right ones. As Proverbs 20:6 says, a reliable friend is hard to find. “Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable?”

A reliable friend is not one who agrees with every word but one can point out to you when you’re in the wrong and encourage you when you’re doing good. Even if we don’t realise it, the people who we socialize with have a great impact on us and our character and persona. They shape and sharpen us and walking with true friends makes our life here on earth worthwhile.

I have best friends that I know will give me advice that’s best for me and not what i want to hear. Proverbs 12:26 says Godly friends give good advice, so I know that because she has the fear of God in her; she will point me in the right direction. Sincere friends, speak the truth in love, even when it hurts. Like Proverbs 27:5 says, “Wounds from a sincere friends are better than kisses from an enemy”. I'd rather have my best friend tell me off for something bad I've done then have my enemy congratulate me for it!

Be sure not to hate or despise your friend when they give you some “home truths”, but be quick to be thankful for their lives. Be thankful that you have friends that you can truly rely on.

The book of Proverbs is such an inspirational book which has encouraging messages and directions on how to recognise real friends from fake friends and how to keep friends. If you haven’t got a bible, there’s a link at the bottom of the page where you can order one from (New International Version is great).

It’s one thing to make friends but it’s another thing to keep them! Don’t take your girlfriends for granted, appreciate them and value them. The people closest to you have had the most impact on you, I know for fact that I wouldn’t be the young woman I am today without the help of my best friends. A friend loves at all times; be sure that you love your friend at all times and not when it’s your birthday and she’s bought you those Kurt Geiger heels! Love her even when she says she has no money and buys you a box of celebrations...be sure to love at all times!

I once met a girl who said “I love my best friend, but I just hate it when I have to keep carrying her baggage for her”. Of course, you can’t bear your friends burdens for them but friendship is all about sacrifice. Loyal friends love through difficult times. Let them know you’re there for them and pray for them. The love you have for them alone should make you want to see them through the tough times.

Trust, loyalty and burden sharing are all important essentials in ensuring that you have the right friend by your side.

Good friends will make you a stronger Christian. Proverbs 27:17 says as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

However, not all ‘friends’ are true friends. Some people that we may well laugh and joke with are the same people who may have jealousy towards us or who may be harbouring negative feelings in their hearts. Or alternatively, you may have friends who indulge in negative gossiping or immoral acts and you feel somewhat obliged to them. The bible says avoid godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. (2 Timothy 2:16)

Of course our conversations can get diverted to the latest episode of Eastenders or the hot new dress you bought last week, but we can differentiate that from UNGODLY talk...talk that goes against God and his principles.

A “friend” who does not love is not a friend because anyone who does not love, does not know God because God is love. It’s impossible for you to know God and your best friend not; you need to be on the same page. How can two people walk together if they are not agreed? (Amos 3:3)

Similarly, gossip can separate best friends. The book of proverbs has a long list of the dangers of gossip and the potential hurt that results from it. A gossip betrays confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. Many friendships have been ruined over a misunderstanding that started through mere gossip. People who engage in gossip do nothing but hurt people and stir trouble. These are “friends” that you need to keep away from. One of the most major tests of friendship, is how you handle disagreement.

Matthew 5:30 says “If your right arm causes you to sin then cut it off, for it is better that you lose one of your members that your whole body go into hell.” It is better for you to end a friendship with an un-loyal person than to keep them as a friend and lose your path with your God.

Don’t be fooled by “friends” who pretend to be righteous. If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless. (James 1:26)

Ask God to open your spiritual eyes and ears so that you may recognise a false friend from far.

Comparing yourself to your friends is pointless; God is a god of indiviual relationships. Something you might be doing, might not be suitable for your friend and vice versa. As young women, we usually see something we like on our friends and we copy-just make sure you copy qualities that will bring you to Christ, not take you away from him.

Lastly, there’s something that God put upon my heart which wasn’t planned but I think there are people who need to read this. In order to have a sincere, loving friendship, we must learn to forgive. In Colossians 3:13 it says “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

We forgive by faith, not out of obedience. Since forgiveness is against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete. Let go of any bitter feelings that you are harbouring and let God come into your heart.

This post was inspiried by my pastor, Pastor Steve, head of City Gates Church in Ilford, who gave a 4 week teaching on the importance of friendship. Our friendship with with another is a reflection of your friendship with Christ. "Because Jesus is loyal to me, I am going to be loyal to my friends". That was my favourite quote because it summed up in a sentence how much we should love and treat our friends.

I'd just like to say a BIG thankyou to all my girls, because I wouldn't be able to write this without them. Geraldine, Mary, Anne, Funmi, Gertrude, Debby, Renee. I love you all loads :D.
And of course each and every one of my friends, you all mean the world to me.


CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO PURCHASE A BIBLE ONLINE-FREE DELIVERY TOO!!!http://www.eden.co.uk/shop/bibles_217/index.html

Praying for him...

Every girl has that one guy that makes her go weak at the knees, whether it’s your current boyfriend, your ex or that guy you always see at the bus stop every morning. We can name a guy who makes us all starry eyed with that butterfly feeling we all know very well.


Being in a relationship can be magical; late night phone calls, snuggling up on the sofa and romantic days out. As cliché as it sounds, us girls like the emotional side of the relationship and when everything is going so well, we close our eyes and cross our fingers and hope for the best. But there is one thing that we forget, why don’t we pray for our relationships? Pray for a future in it, pray for stability and pray for faithfulness.

Relationships are not really talked about in church and very often, young girls are left feeling helpless and shameful. There are mixed messages that parents, pastors and teachers often give to us young women, and the most common is STAY AWAY FROM BOYS AND FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES. However, the reality of the situation brings to light many young girls who are involved in relationships.

Praying for your relationship shows your man that you are serious and God-fearing. As Proverbs 31:30 says: “A woman who fears the Lord, is to be praised.” Both of you being deep in Christ is the best foundation and building blocks for your relationship, when you have started in Christ, and continue to seek him diligently, you both will know Him in great ways. A relationship is covenant between God, you and him. A famous quote that I once heard is “a woman’s heart should be so deep in Christ, that for a man to seek her heart, he must go through Christ first” This is a beautiful quote that shows how deep the love a woman should have for God as she embarks on a journey with her man.

I once asked my mum how it is, that her and my dad have been together for 21 years, she replied to me “a couple that prays together stays together”.

Or maybe your relationship is at an all time low and you are feeling confused and lost. Pray for peace of mind and for spiritual awareness, if you don’t know how to pray, I have put a small prayer at the end of the blog that you can use and expand on. Sometimes as girls, we close our eyes, cross our fingers and hope for it to get better soon. It may not be the right relationship for you or maybe you need to bring your man to Christ. You may even be feeling tired of the whole thing (even though I don’t think I could ever get tired of waking up next to David Beckham!)

But how will you know if you have not prayed about it? Pray for strength to be able to stand up and be virtuous, put your self-worth first and know that before any man loved you; God loved you first. Your man may be going through difficult times and as girls we can feel useless in certain situations. But praying for him is the greatest gift you can give to him. Praying for somebody else shows selflessness which is how Christ taught us to live.

Therefore, God will answer our prayers for others more quickly and surely than prayers for ourselves, and, more than that, what we ask in prayer for others will come back to us.  An excellent Biblical example is found at the end of the Book of Job. If you read chapter 42:10, you will find this: "And the Lord turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before." As you can see, it was when Job prayed for his friends that he got blessed, and if you are familiar with the Book of Job, you will understand that it was forgiveness for his friends that he had to pray for. In the same way, God will often only act in our behalf when we take the initiative to pray for the needs, material and spiritual, of others.


Something that God put on my heart was also the situation about ex boyfriends. Many girls have been hurt in the past and it can be destructive both physically and spiritually. But know that you are a beautiful young woman who has been fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. Rebuke that spirit of depression or sadness; it has no place in your life. Your tongue is one of the most powerful tools you have; use it to claim blessings in your life. Use it to rebuke heartache and pain and use it to pray for the ones that hurt you. Proverbs 13:2 teaches us that from the fruit of your lips, you shall enjoy good.
The bible  also says we should forgive those who trespass against us; burdening pain in your heart is poisonous. Don’t let it kill you. Praying for someone that hurt you helps you to move on and blossom into the beautiful worthy woman has called you to be.

Some of you are reading this thinking, “I don’t have a boyfriend and have never had an ex”, but praying for the right guy to come along doesn’t start when you go on the first date. Pray that when the right guy comes along; you are able to see it. Pray that you may be far from any temptation that is a distraction to you. Even if he looks like Wentworth Miller! The right time will come when you are to be in a relationship, don’t succumb to peer pressure or feel under any strain. After all, in 1 Corinthians 17:32, it says that an unmarried person should only be concerned with the affairs of the Lord. Focus on whatever it is you are doing and pursue it to the highest degree.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life, and you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever and ever. Stay blessed!

Please feel free to leave comments to debate, discuss and share any issues you feel like!

Prayer of salvation: Father, in heaven You said that, "Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." I know now that I can do nothing to save myself. You died on the cross and shed your blood for me. You paid for and took away all my sin and iniquity. I call on your name right now. Lord Jesus, save me! I believe in you now and believe that you died on the cross in my place, to pay the price for and take away all my sin.

In Jesus' name, I pray, Amen

Proverbs 11:16 -A kindhearted woman gains respect

 

One day, I hope to be an example to girls and women. Not because of me or my achievements but because of the Christ that lives in me. I want to be an example because I want to prove that you do not have to be a popular, rich ‘it-girl’ to be respected. You can come from an ordinary working-class background like myself, with an ordinary upbringing and still know Christ in great ways.
I have an outreach aim; to help the broken hearted the disappointed, and the rejected.
 

After being saved two years ago, it is only of recent that I noticed how hard the struggle is. Walking with Christ is harder than being in the world! This is something that I think Christians tend to forget. The common idea that life is a fairytale when you become ‘born-again’ is wrong. As Christians we experience so many trials and tribulations that help us reach God in the purest way possible. But these trials and tribulations are only hurdles and obstacles towards a greater outcome. I thank God for the happy and sad times in my life, all the glory belongs to him.
 

As women in our society, being Christ-like is hard. With constant reminders in the media showing us that ‘beauty’ is defined by sex appeal or by how big and round your bum and breasts are, image has now consumed our thoughts and conscience. But I want to rebuke that spirit in us and fight against it for we battle not against flesh but against principalities in this world.
I want to let females know that beauty has nothing to do with your physical appearance. Your weave, makeup or swagger has no input in your self worth. However, being virtuous is further than skin deep. It is an attribute which is emotional and spiritual and can only be achieved by accepting Christ Jesus as your Lord and saviour.
So many times, as women we experience disappointment or heartache whether it be at the hands of men or by another other means and it can destroy us both physically and mentally. Some girls feel worthless, while others even set out to intentionally hurt others. The old saying of ‘time is the greatest healer’ doesn’t really have effect in such situations. I personally believe that Christ is the best healer. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that being ‘saved’ means being born again. A new creation! Regardless of past situations and circumstances, all God wants is your heart.
“You won’t understand I’ve made some really bad mistakes” this is what some of you may be thinking or something that you may have thought of before. Rebuke it!! It is a lie from the devil who wants to see you fail.
The bible says Paul went about murdering Christians, yet he became one of the most anointed writers in the bible. No sin is too big for God no problem is too much for him.
“Okay so what do I do then?” Just give him your heart! That’s all. You don’t need to do a big sacrifice or give up your best pair of heels and wipe of all your makeup. Just your heart, that’s all God wants; the purest part of your body.

Well the weekend just ended...

Well, the weekend just ended,

As usual it was a real pleasure to be a part of the planning for this weekend. I consider myself lucky to be a part of this ministry. To be able to plan a weekend where people can get together as a community and discuss their faith and work together to be stronger better Christians through talks from our speakers, networking, and worship together.

As directors my wife and I are always looking for new people to help us spread the word about not only Focus weekend, and Crosstalk Ministries, but about the love Jesus has for us.

Our speakers this year Jean Pronovost (former NHL player) and his wife Diane talked about the adversity they encountered not only as husband and wife in the high profile world of pro sports... but also their personal struggle with understanding God's word and the plans he had for them. They revealed details about both their personal and public lives and how their spiritual development affected both. Most importantly for me... was his closing message about legacy. Most people (including me) do not look at everyday decisions as memorable; though, they culminate to a lifelong story of: who you are, what you stood for, and what you considered to be most important.

Next year

Our theme is "Why do we follow him". Being a disciple of Jesus is a big responsibility, and we are looking to have members of local missions speak about why they decided to make their life focus mission work in the name of the lord, and what they are doing to show others how he has changed their lives.

Soon we will have a list of people that will be speaking, and already have staff members committed to next years planning.

If you would like more information about the weekend or Crosstalk Ministries you can visit their website at http://www.crosstalkministries.ca or contact us via the focus website at http://www.crosstalkministries.ca/focus/index.htm.